Sunday, January 6, 2008

Sashimi Grade Tilapia

Seafood Sale!! Front page! $3.99 per lb!!! The only thing I have yet to figure out is why anyone would want to eat tilapia sashimi. Even as a cooked fish, the mouthfeel is a little mushy, with a slightly mild fish taste. (And FYI.... "sashimi grade" does not describe a wonderful, premium fillet of anything. It is a very broad, vague term which can be best summed up as: the fish has been frozen to destroy any parasites that might have been harmful to you, had you consumed it fresh.) Tilapia is one of our more popular items, even when it's not on sale. ($7.99lb, regularly). The first day of the sale was complete and utter chaos. It was horrible. Oh, the mis-pronunciations! "Lemme get six pinds(pounds) of that ti-li-pia." And it truly amuses me when a customer has this cute, playful air... they give you the look that says, "I'm going to shock her with what I'm about to ask for." Ten pounds does nothing for me, lady. I could care less if you spend what I spend on auto insurance monthly on a cheap-ass whitefish. It kind of disappoints them when I don't even raise an eyebrow or ask what they need all of that fish for. Tilapia appeals to the masses. Black people, Caucasians, Mexicans, Asians. Young people, cryptkeepers. I kinda dislike the fact that no matter how many millions of pounds I've sold, these fuckers will probably never, ever see the endangered species list. And yes. This tilapia is from China. There is a source tag next to the sign that tells you the country of origin. You see it on the scale's moniter. But yet, you wait until I wrapped your shit up and handed it to you before you said, "Oh, Is that that Chinese stuff? My husband won't eat that." Or better, "I've done lots of research." Please do not lecture me on the dangers of toxic fish farming in China. And fifteen minutes of googling Chinese Tilapia is not research. The only thing I was told, via memo, from the higher-ups, is that Hairy Peter did not and will not recieve any of the tainted seafood.


TheSilverPen said...

I think tilapia tastes like a inbred cross between shit and hacked up cat furballs. But that's my opinion. How do I know what cat furballs and shit together taste like? I've eaten at Applebee's.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Don't know why you are denigrating your customers. Don't you make money by selling fish? So what business do you have mocking people who buy from you? That's right. Mock your customers and your won't have any business. What an ego pot.